What have I learned on love.

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I have been missing these past few weeks, I haven’t felt so inspired to write anything. But now, I have decided to write a bit about my feelings.

I recently broke up. The wound it’s still fresh and it still hurts. If you look at my social media it looks like nothing has happened, and that I’m living a happy life, just working and smiling. The truth is, inside I feel horrible.

I cried a lot, I let my friends and family support me and tell me what a great girl I was, and how anyone who was in a relationship with me was lucky to have me in his life. I worked out, and baked lots of cookies and blueberry muffins.

The other thing I did, was looking up online how to get over a breakup. Biggest mistake ever. Everything I found was from women who were badly hurt, and mostly angry. Nothing was really helpful, I even found some websites on “how to get him back in less than a month” Really people? Usually there’s a reason you broke up.

Not only do we celebrate Easter, we can enjoy that spring is finally here!

A feeling of helplessness came over me. How many people have gone through this? How many people have felt this way? Honestly I didn’t fight with him, it wasn’t an awful breakup where people shout and you can tell that the love is gone. It was awful because it truly didn’t feel like the right thing to do, and because our story had been full of love, love that hasn’t faded away.

So, how do you get over a breakup that was truly out of pure love?  A breakup that happened because you both felt was the best thing you could do for each other? Why no one talks about that? In my limited experience on this topic I have decided to share what I have learned up to this point:

  • Just because you can’t talk to each other anymore, doesn’t mean there’s no love left.
  • Things ALWAYS happen for a reason, and you’ll soon find out why.
  • Don’t let yourself go; focus on yourself, be selfish. Work out, eat good, read that book you have had on your bedside table since January.
  • Look for your friends. Even if they are in far away places and different continents, trust me they WILL be there for you.
  • Figure out what you want to do with YOUR life without thinking on how it may affect anybody else. So you had plan together, and it won’t be happening. Then figure out what do YOU want.
  • Even if you feel like a rotten fruit, wake up, dress pretty, put some lipstick on, go out and smile.
  • SMILE. Smiling induces your brain to release endorphins. And on the wise words of Elle Woods “Endorphins make you happy”.
  • Meditate. For real, try to feel. At the beginning you’ll feel like crying, but afterwards, try to feel. By feeling you’ll be able to put things into perspective.
  • Forgive yourself, and forgive him. By forgiving him it’ll be easier to let go. I’m not saying it’ll be a walk through the park, but it’ll get easier.
  • Remember that love will always be there for you.
  • This too, shall pass. If you need to cry, do so; if you want to get angry, do so. But let everything pass.
  • You are completely worth it, and probably (most likely) he is too. Don’t hang too much on it. If it’s meant to be, it will be, if you’re just meant to be close friends who once dated then that will happen. The love you have won’t go away, it might just change.
  • You had a life before that relation, and you’ll have one afterwards. Do things to remind you of that life.
  • Acknowledge all the blessings you have in your life.

How to get over a breakup? I still don’t know, I have learned to be at peace. I know I’m not alone, and definitely not lost. I am starting to move forward, I know I’m worth it and that I’ll be happy. Maybe I’ll still cry a few tears, shout a bit in despair, and get mad. I’ll miss him sometimes, and others I’ll feel like myself again. I just know that right now, the most important thing is not to give up.

Lots of Love

Dany