In balancing a student schedule vs finding out what am I supposed to do.

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First impressions at a new school

This past week has been hectic. And I have been trying to adapt to so many changes in a short period of time.

Who would’ve thought that getting my mind back into the “student” schedule would be this difficult?

Nevertheless, I love what I have been studying so far. I am a bit stressed with all the work that looming up on me; but I am happy. I finally don’t feel the need to think in class “Why am I here, if I really don’t want to use the lifecycle of E.coli in my life?!”

The question floating around in my mind recently while in class is “If I love this so much, then it shouldn’t be difficult to find an amazing job afterwards.. Right?!”

This past weeks my head has been filled with reading on Hippocrates (or rather, the Hippocratic body), Apollo, Homer and his Iliad, Galen, Vesalius and the poor woman dissected in the cover of his “De Humanis Corporis Fabrica“; a bit on stigmata, and I have rekindled my love-hate relation with physics after reading about Boyle and his experiments. I also went to see a play on cancer (a rather amusing and a bit heart-wrenching musical in my humble opinion), and have gotten to know new people.

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He is supposed to be Hippocrates… sharing wisdom.

And somewhere deep inside me, there is a little voice telling me “This FEELS so right! This is the place to be at this particular moment”. But the evil, pragmatic voice (whose usually not so deep inside me) keeps wondering if this reading, studying and working is all I need. If this is enough to help me finally find a way to make my livelihood something I love. (As opposed to something that just provides money.) Should I look for something in this side of the world after I finish my degree? Should I look elsewhere? Should I go back home?

There are so many questions in my mind, that I’m surprised that I haven’t gone mad. But in this fog, there is a bright light. For the first time, studying is not difficult, filled with elements that I don’t understand. Maybe it’s the hard doctor training, but I am enjoying this. Maybe that’s the lesson after all. Just  be happy.